Don’t do me any favors.. matter of fact, why don’t you do yourself a few.
Ohh no not another excuse, you’re tired silly games for me, are just no use.
So now its plain for me to see, You were with somebody you didn’t want to be.
I’ve got Plenty of other things i could do.
You could have spared me so much misery, and told me you just wanted a friend… Because believe me, there is a difference. when you mean it and when you pretend.
was i just your habit? because i know a habit is hard thing to break. But wont you spare me a little mercy, theres only so much that I can take.
So won’t you please leave me, like you want to.
did you know
it’s impossible to rip your hair out? I’ve tried about a hundred fucking times now. ha it just doesn’t work.
its funny… you can grab 50 hairs and pull as hard as you can and none will come out… but if you grab just one single hair, it comes out just like that.
blehhh:/ fuck this.
Nights like this…
Start off shitty in the first place… nothing goes right, or the way you want it to. You go on ahead and fuck yourself over because you can’t keep your mouth shut. One thing after another, it just doesn’t end. Too many shadows in my room… too many hours in this midnight… so many corners in my mind. After everything i’ve been going through theres so much on my mind. i’ve been trying to fight it off for some time now but it just doesn’t help when your dad is a complete waste of time and your mom is always drunk. I’ve seldom seen her sober in the past 16 years of my life. I’ve realized that you just cant argue with a drunk. You simply cannot win, theres no point in even trying. Even if you do win, my bet is that you’ll end up feeling worse than you did to begin with.
I’m really trying so hard to make the best of all this sadness and pain.. I’m getting stronger every minute, and i’m getting to the point where I’m starting to realize the only things that matter to me any more. I’m just going to live my life the way i want it to be lived, and love the one that is and always will be truly there for me. You know who you are.
So much pain and agony tonight.. it must be making me stronger. i may feel like its killing me, but i know one thing. I’m still breathing, my heart continues to beat and everythings gonna be alright.
Maybe when things turn green and the sun starts shining again, just maybe I’ll be free from these thoughts. but right now i must slip into a dream and be in a place of complete peace in my mind…. a dream of me and my babygirl all cuddled up together in eachothers arms, may just be the thing i need.
